I’ve been thinking about falling in love, about how I’ve never been in it, and how the thought of it scares me. I’ve been thinking about why it’s called “falling” and not calmly walking into it. I’ve been thinking about how you know someone is the right one, and how you decide if they are worth it.
I’ve been thinking about how much I as a female can do about it, do I flirt, do I not, do I let things just happen. I’ve been thinking about the future him, and how I don’t know if I should encourage and let him know. I’ve been thinking about the examples that have been set for me, by my parents and countless “uncles and aunts.” I’ve been reflecting on talks with friends and thinking about how nice it is to know that I’m not the only one who is going through this confusion.
I’ve been thinking about the one, and whether or not I’m ready for him. I’ve been praying about how God will send him when I’m ready but my timing and God’s aren’t always the same. I’ve been praying about him , that wherever he is he’ll be okay, that his days are good and that he’s being molded by God to be the leader of our home someday. I’ve been praying that I become the perfect one for him, that my heart will be ready when the time comes. I’ve been praying that even though we will struggle and fight sometimes, that God will give us the strength to love each other, to pray for each other, to forgive each other, to stick with our vows and not let ourselves being a statistic.
Most of all, I’ve been thinking about how my parents are celebrating another anniversary tomorrow and how I pray that God will give them at least 40 more years of love together. I’ve been thinking about how I feel loved by them because of how they love each other. How even though their love isn’t what is seen in books and movies, it’s absolutely beautiful and inspirational. So, Happy Anniversary :).