I’ve been learning how important it is to develop relationships where you feel comfortable asking for help. I’ve been learning that independence is great, but the need for others will always be there. Either to uplift you, to correct you, or to grant favours for you when you are stuck. I’ve been thinking about how in a nation where people are raised to be self reliant, it becomes hard when you realize that self-reliance can only get you so far.
Last week my car stopped working, and after it was fixed, I needed a ride to go and pick it up. I was looking through my phone of over 100 contacts and it dawned on me that in a situation like I was in, I only felt like I could call on 10% (less than 20) of the people in my area to do me a favour. It dawned on me that it was my fault that I felt that way.
Over the years I have worked hard to prove that I’m an adult, that I am independent, and over the years my pride has increased because of that. I find that when I need something, it’s a lot easier for me to talk myself out of it, than to ask for help, and that is not okay. We all need help at some point in life, and those who we’ve grown up with, that we’ve relied on for so long won’t always be there to help us. People are in each others lives to love, and help, and bring growth, and it’s our decision to develop the relationships where ever we go, that allows us to feel like we are not alone.
We belong to each other, we are here to love each other, to support each other, and if you are feeling like you are all alone, and can’t ask for help from others, you need to reflect on what part you’re playing and whether those in your life are people who you should be able to trust. Seeking help doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means that you realize that there are somethings that you can’t do by yourself.
Eventually, I recognized that and I called a friend who seems to always be there when I need help, but the realization of where I am in my relationships has made me start trying harder, to connect, to love, and to let that pride go. At the end of the day, pride can’t drive me to the mechanic, or borrow me some money, or hug me when I’m feeling down.
I’ll Stand By You – The Pretenders
You’ve Got A Friend – James Taylor
The Rembrandts – I’ll Be There for You